Saying goodbye to this precious little girl will be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I honestly feel like I'm having to give away my very own child. When we first started this, we agreed to love, get attached, and treat our foster children the exact same way we do Harper. Yet, in the end, we knew it would be so much harder for us, because we truly feel like her birth parents. But when you think about what a foster child truly needs...it's to have a mom and dad who unconditionally love and care for them. So that was our plan, and I think we did a pretty good job. Taylor's looming departure is tearing me up inside. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I mean, the song "The Little Drummer Boy" sent me over the edge the other day... what in the world?!? The hardest part is all of the unknowns. I could drive myself crazy with all of the hypotheticals. Instead, I have to trust. Trust that she will be loved well, taken care of, and will thrive in her new home. I also have to trust that she will continue to be protected from the harmful people in her life. I've had to let go of some pride...thinking we were her very best option. We aren't the only family that can take of her well, and I'm choosing to trust that her new home will be fabulous.
When people find out we're foster parents, the comment I get most often is, "Oh, I'd love to do that, but I wouldn't be able to give them back." Well, trust me when I say this, I don't want to give her back...but I have no other choice. I know this is what we signed up for, but that will never make it easy. Loving a child that you know will eventually leave isn't easy. Trusting that her best interests are being considered isn't easy. Saying goodbye isn't easy. But I can't imagine my life without sweet Taylor in it, so I will say it's been well worth it.
