When Annalise's dad told me they were moving, I was extremely sad. I cried in the evenings for a while, but then I just became numb to it. I really just wanted to enjoy my last few months with her....and we definitely had a blast! We went to the nail salon for the first time to get our nails done. It was so much fun! We've also had more play dates than I know what to do with! But this weekend it hit me again. I think I held it in for so long that now the flood gates are open.....look out! I honestly can't stop crying. I'm sure part of it is the fact that my hormones are crazy right now, but I also feel like it's normal to be this sad. Last night, Corby and I just cried on our way home from church. It broke my heart to see him so upset, but at the same time, it makes sense....he loves her so much! It may sound weird, but I almost feel like a part of me is going to be gone once she moves.
This is our last full week together, so I'm going to try to make it the very best. We have a few lunch dates planned with her favorite friends, and hopefully the weather will be nice enough to go to the zoo! I knew this was going to be hard, but I don't think I expected it to be this hard. I just keep praying that the Lord will be my strength and my rock. With this move, there are so many things I worry about. Most of them, I'm going to have to give up to the Lord because it's out of my control. However, I can't help but worry that she's just not going to really understand. Will she think that I'm the one that left her???? Oh, I sure hope not! That is honestly probably the hardest thing about this. I never want her to think that I'm the one that abandoned her. If you think about it, just pray that this week will be our greatest week together and that I can be strong around her.
2 comments:
Oh, Lauren, I'm so sad, too....for you, for Corby & for Annalise. She is going to miss you every bit as much as you miss her. It makes me cry just to think about it. You have loved her so much and poured yourself into her....you have truly made it more than a job!! It is for sure one of those things you just have to leave in God's hands and know He can take care of that precious little girl -- even in St. Louis!! I pray God will strengthen you this week and give you an amazing time with her with many more sweet memories.
I love you, Mom
Sweet Lauren! Bless your heart! She is so lucky to have had you in her life. I know you love her so much. She is part of your family and you are part of her's. I will definitely be praying for you as you go through this week and after she moves. I already pray for you everyday...but I will add this to the list! Have so much fun this week!
Post a Comment